Oh how quickly things change. One second you’re enjoying a relaxing stretch on the floor, and the next you are being hunted and mauled by a newly-mobile baby. My baby, in fact. The hunter. The mauler. But he looks so cute, you might say. Or he wasn’t even crawling 4 days ago, you might protest. Well I am here to tell you, brothers and sisters, that appearances can be deceiving. Take the Big Bad Wolf, for example. Just how far did that “everyone is sweet and nice” attitude get Little Red Riding Hood? Right onto Mr. Wolf’s dinner plate, that’s how far! And I fear I may be next.

I was lucky enough to capture the most recent attack on film and have posted it here. Should I never be heard from again, you’ll know what happened: he got me (that or he drooled me to death).

Will Attacks! (3mb)

Well, I think enough time has passed since Will’s 6 month birthday (about 10 days ago) that may allow me to write about him without lamenting “my boy! My LITTLE BABY BOY!! AWWWWWWW [insert arms stretched heaven-ward, unless you're an atheist, in which case insert arms stretched toward chocolate cake] FATHER TIME… WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN ME? [insert me collapsing in anguish].”

So yeah, Will is 6 months and ten days old now and…(don’t worry, I’m holding it together, I just forgot what I was going to say as I was thinking about chocolate cake)… and growing into quite the adorable little man. We had his 6 month doctor appointment last week and here are his vitals:

height: 26 1/2 inches
weight: 18 pounds, 9 ounces
head circumference: didn’t pay attention (having admitted that, some medical journal will probably report that dad’s who neglect to pay attention to son’s head circumference are more likely to die of horrific gastrointestinal disorder)

All in all, though dad’s bowels may be in trouble, Will is a happy and healthy fella!

In addition to birthday celebrations (which was really just me dancing about saying “it’s your birthday”)and appointments, Will has been dangerously flirting with crawling for about the past week now. He can get up on all fours, sort of rock a bit, but then collapses in a frustrated heap. I was watching him get worked into a frenzy as he tried to move forward tonight and realized that it’s probably a lot like learning how to drive a stick shift: you KNOW the thing can move (you’ve seen others do it); you know you have to do SOMETHING with your feet and hands, but not entirely certain WHAT or HOW; and there is going to be some lurching involved until you get the hang of it. If you have ever learned to drive a stick, you know exactly what I am talking about – I think there were times when I was learning that I actually rocked back and forth hoping to make the thing go. And god forbid you ever had to parallel park, which probably explains why lots of babies who are learning to crawl get stuck under chairs.

Mr. big man is also heartily enjoying his newfound foods: beans, peas, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, peaches, apples, bananas, and pears (and NO, not all at once). While they make lunch much more entertaining (you haven’t fully appreciated farty noises until your baby makes them with a mouth full of carrots), the foods have redefined the pooie diaper. And that’s all I am going to say about that.

I will leave you with a parting thought: next time you drive a stick shift, pause for a moment and think about the babies… because at least with a stick shift, you can say “screw it” and hop in the car with the automatic!